This is the third bra in the past 7 days to fall apart.
They served me well but finally succumbed to immense pressure, and it's time to give them a proper burial.
:::taps plays:::
Friday, March 2, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Eleventy-Eleven/Homework
I didn't get tagged-I DID, however, get inspired by my Pal Suniverse, over at, well, Suniverse. She likes me enough to read me and comment now and then, which is practically the same as meeting me at Starbuck's for a weekly tall- soy-decaf-vanilla-latte'. And she said consider myself tagged. And I needed a quick and easy blog topic. It's like a quickie, but on Internet paper.
Here's the sitch...
Rules:
1. Post these rules
Here's the sitch...
Rules:
1. Post these rules
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself
3. Answer the questions set for you in their post
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer
5. Tag them on Twitter, Facebook or their blog
3. Answer the questions set for you in their post
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer
5. Tag them on Twitter, Facebook or their blog
Random Things about Aimee/Fearless Fibro Warrior
1. My feet have grown from a 7 to an 8-this is odd because I have been a 7 since high school, and then I had to start buying 8s about 3 years ago. My theory is I got so fat my feet were the only things left to expand.
2. I never had Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, broccoli or asparagus as a child-my parents hated them. I now love them all.
3. I LOVE the Oxford comma. I feel weird if I forget one.
4. I can't stand most TV, but I LOVE The Kardashians. I know, it's a sickness.
5. I always thought my favorite color was blue but every time I had blue clothing (except for Jeans) I wouldn't wear it. Now, I know my favorite color is green. When I buy it, I wear it.
6. Even when I was a vegetarian, I loved pate'. And I crave liverwurst on white bread with American cheese and yellow mustard. Yummm.
7. Incorrectly used apostrophes drive me crazy. Like in "Praline's 'n Cream". The Cream does NOT belong to the Praline. I scratched the apostrophe off at an ice cream parlor once.
8. I cannot watch scary movies. In fact, Scary Movie had me hyperventilating. It might be because I have a hard time discerning between reality and fantasy.
9. I spent most of my early working years in health food stores-3 different ones. This is why I'm such a tree hugger, and hate Western medicine.
10. Speaking of hippies, I love the smell of Patchouli. Unless mixed with B.O.
11. When I was younger, I hated my freckles. So much so, that when my parents were gone, I'd apply thick layers of my mom's cover-up to my face, then stand far away and squint a little bit, just to see what I would look like without them. Sorry, Mom. I owe you a couple bottles of goop.
That was harder than it looks. Because I was all, "What would be a random fact? Well, if I spend a lot of time thinking about it, is it really random?" Sheesh. Lighten up, Aimee (As my mom used to say).
Answers to Suniverse's questions:
1. Do you hate baked potatoes, too? No, but I avoid them because they are a nightshade vegetable. And they suck without gobs of butter, sour cream, cheese and bacon. Wait, Yes. Yes I hate them.
2. Which are your favorite pair of shoes? My Ecco boots. They were my first pair of nice boots, and I get compliments on them all the time.
3. Michael Buble - sexy or sexiest? Show your work. Sexy. Michael Buble-not Mark Walburg=Sexy
4. I'm still wiped out from surgery. Is there a pill I can take for energy? Or does meth only come in liquid form? I believe you can crush up meth and snort it. I'm not sure about that one. Or you can scam drugs off the tweens-$10 goes pretty far.
5. Do you still throw away cans when you don't feel like cleaning them for recycling? Neither do I. Of course not. That would be horrible. But I can't be....wait, what? Clean them for recycling? Ummm, yes. I mean, no. Ummm, I gotta pee, BRB.
6. What's the grossest thing you've eaten? Some people would say liverwurst. But I got it! Back in college, I had my tonsils out. I wasn't eating much, and could hardly speak. We went out to the local Red Robin, and all my friends made this horrific concoction of leftovers off our plates, and poured ketchup, ranch and cigarette ashes on it. One of the guys in our group bet me $100 I wouldn't take a bite. I spent the money on new clothes. And in Middle School, I would down ketchup and mustard packets to gross people out.
7. What does your journal look like? An awful lot like this blog-in fact, it's identical. (Because I don't journal. Was that clear?)
8. Why do you still have that t-shirt that you never wear? Because someday I will be thin enough that I won't look like a chubby skank.
9. What have you spilled on someone else? What haven't I spilled? I was a waitress, and horrifically bad at dropping things (Sorry, Sharleen). I do remember one time I spilled an entire soda down a large woman's leg. I said, "Don't worry, it's diet", and walked away. I'm pretty sure I didn't get a good tip.
10. What color would you love your house to be? A yellow house with a giant wrap-around porch
11. If you could spy on someone, who would it be? I don't know if i have an answer to this one. I'm really good, not wanting to be in others' business like that. Any more. And I trust people generally, so I can't think of anyone. Except maybe a celebrity to see what their life was like. Someone like JLo, probably.
My 11 questions:
1. What is your favorite M n' M flavor?
2. Which state should we turn into an alternative dumping site?
3. Why are cats so damned smug?
4. Which position in a band makes the person more attractive?
5. Who should we contact if thong exercise-wear comes back into fashion?
6. If you were trapped in an elevator with no hope of rescue for 3 days with Joan Rivers, Snooki, Maury, and one gun with only one bullet, who would you shoot?
7. How should we promote better voter-turnout in non-presidential-election years?
8. What is your favorite place in California?
9. Where would you want to travel if you could only go to one place ever again?
10. Which of my best qualities make you most prone to stalking me: my demure vulnerability, my biting wit, my hilarious skew on pop-culture, the crazy things I pin on Pinterest, or my winning smile?
11. When I look out the window, it always seems like it's raining, even when it's sunny. Is that my keen eyesight actually seeing individual atomic particles? Explain.
This would be where I would tag you, which I don't feel like/don't know how/don't care to try.
Happy Thursday, and stay tuned for double bloggy goodness tomorrow!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
The CDC is Full of Idiots, or, Antibiotics for Fun and Profit!
Last week, I finished my first round of antibiotics for Lyme Disease and a Bartonella Co-Infection.
According to the CDC, nothing more than a 28-day regimen of antibiotics is required. So, I'M CURED! Right? No?
So you follow their imaginary flow chart.
Is there neurological symptoms present?
Yes. (Or, hell yes. Whichever.)
That means that I fall into, according to the CDC, the 10-20% of patients that now have "Post Treatment Lyme Disease Syndrome". Aha. Thanks, CDC. Now what? They tell me I could take months or even years to fully feel the effects of my "cure", because the disease did so much damage.
Let me get this straight:
Take antibiotics for 28 days. Call me in 5 years. Got it.
Now, the IDSA (Infectious Diseases Society of America) has gotten in the mix. Why? Because this band of misfits makes recommendations, which in turn dictates what insurance companies deem fair and reasonable treatment. This is insurance talk for "What we shell cash out for".
They do address what they refer to as "Late Neurologic Lyme Disease", but they really want definitive proof there is actually something wrong, like a lumbar puncture. Having constant pain for 2+ years, along with unexplained brain fog, word loss, short-term memory loss and muscle spasms and twitches throughout the body that are interfering in my quality of life are not considered proof. Of course not. Because it's totally common to work 60+ hours a week building a successful business, only to one day realize I can't remember to pay bills or calculate payroll accurately. It's perfectly normal to learn new things all the time, spend my free time researching concepts and philosophies related to my field, read technical psychological texts for fun, then one day realize I can't follow a 3-step recipe with any degree of clarity or success. Sure, CDC. Thanks, IDSA.
But they might just believe something is wrong. Fab. What then? Well, IV antibiotics, of course. For up to 4 weeks. Then I will be cured, right? They don't know. What they say they know is this: there is no evidence that prolonged antibiotic therapy will work. And, there is no evidence to support treating Bartonella.
So, let's recap: Positive for Lyme? Have some pills. After the end of the month, wait. Wait until the symptoms go away. But if you are persistent enough, we might just give you a few weeks more of antibiotics in IV form. Then, you're cured. It just might take a while for your body to get the message. Until then, continue to not work, not participate in life. Once you begin to feel better, this will signify that you are cured. But still, take it easy. And above all, reduce your stress. Mmmmhmmmm.
The other option is:
Switch insurance to a PPO. Seek treatment from a doctor that can't advertise he treats Lyme Disease for fear of having his license pulled. Get him to treat you until your symptoms go away, at considerable cost because he can't work with insurance companies. Keep treating until your disease is in remission.
So I figure this: I got a lot of waiting to do. While I'm sitting around watching the world go by, reducing my stress by not participating, I might as well be dosing up my body with antibiotics to completely off-the-chart toxic levels. You know, while I wait. Then, when I get better, all the assclowns and fuckwits at the CDC and IDSA can say that it was my first 28 day treatment that finally started working.
Or better yet, they can tell me it's in my head, that I am faking, or lying, or looking for attention. Which is exactly what I do. Instead of working to build my business, it is way more fun to sit around in jammie pants, gaining weight no matter what I avoid. It's totally fab to get to "come out" to people at work, people at my kids' school. I love telling my kids I can't do something, can't open my pills, can't hold a piece of paper, can't get a bear hug, may one day need help eating. I'm just a drama queen that needs attention.
I will tell you----I used to be drawn to drama. I enjoyed the theatrics. Let me tell you---sometimes it takes real drama to show you how stupid it all is, how much I don't love drama. Sometimes it takes something shitty as poor health to make you really realize what is important.
Do I want my life back? No. Do I want to be able to participate in a new life? Hell, yes I do. Which is why I will continue to pay pay pay for all the meds my doctor tells me to take. My new doc that listens to me, treats me like a normal human with a real disease. And I will get better. it may take a while, and I may not get back to the energy level I once had, but that's okay. I had too much energy, anyway. And I wasted it running myself into the ground. At this point, I would settle for 50%.
As far as my old doc, Dr. W goes, I sent him a note. Now, before you think I got all scathing and angry and f-bomb-y, I must tell you I have had time to settle down. That, and I was limited to 500 words, so they had to count. I wrote and rewrote and rewrote....
Dear. Dr. W-you stupid simplistic insurance lackey-I actually have a real disease. I went to a doctor that wasn't a fuckwit, and I'm being treated for a real thing-Lyme disease. Heard of it? So the next time you condescendingly tell a patient to "get that depression under control to make your pain go away", please know that I will find out. I will find out, and hunt you down. Then I will take a rusty set of hedge trimmers to help you alleviate some of that congestion that causes your voice to sound like Ben Stein, but with less personality. Then I will take your stethoscope and ran it up your ass so far, you will be able to hear yourself digest. Kisses, Aimee =Bad. 544 characters.
I had some editing to do.
"Dr. W-after our last meeting, I left with many questions, and little hope, except for "addressing my depression", which should cause my pain to go away. I got a 2nd opinion, and wanted you to know I have Lyme Disease and am in treatment. For the future, please look into all options, before blaming depression. Thank you."
Okay, I have mellowed a bit. But truly, I was hoping that, maybe, just maybe, he would think about this email once more over the course of his practice. And maybe it just might cause him to look a little deeper, just once. And because of that extra care, someone will get the care they need to get better.
Am I awesome, or what?
According to the CDC, nothing more than a 28-day regimen of antibiotics is required. So, I'M CURED! Right? No?
So you follow their imaginary flow chart.
Is there neurological symptoms present?
Yes. (Or, hell yes. Whichever.)
That means that I fall into, according to the CDC, the 10-20% of patients that now have "Post Treatment Lyme Disease Syndrome". Aha. Thanks, CDC. Now what? They tell me I could take months or even years to fully feel the effects of my "cure", because the disease did so much damage.
Let me get this straight:
Take antibiotics for 28 days. Call me in 5 years. Got it.
Now, the IDSA (Infectious Diseases Society of America) has gotten in the mix. Why? Because this band of misfits makes recommendations, which in turn dictates what insurance companies deem fair and reasonable treatment. This is insurance talk for "What we shell cash out for".
They do address what they refer to as "Late Neurologic Lyme Disease", but they really want definitive proof there is actually something wrong, like a lumbar puncture. Having constant pain for 2+ years, along with unexplained brain fog, word loss, short-term memory loss and muscle spasms and twitches throughout the body that are interfering in my quality of life are not considered proof. Of course not. Because it's totally common to work 60+ hours a week building a successful business, only to one day realize I can't remember to pay bills or calculate payroll accurately. It's perfectly normal to learn new things all the time, spend my free time researching concepts and philosophies related to my field, read technical psychological texts for fun, then one day realize I can't follow a 3-step recipe with any degree of clarity or success. Sure, CDC. Thanks, IDSA.
But they might just believe something is wrong. Fab. What then? Well, IV antibiotics, of course. For up to 4 weeks. Then I will be cured, right? They don't know. What they say they know is this: there is no evidence that prolonged antibiotic therapy will work. And, there is no evidence to support treating Bartonella.
So, let's recap: Positive for Lyme? Have some pills. After the end of the month, wait. Wait until the symptoms go away. But if you are persistent enough, we might just give you a few weeks more of antibiotics in IV form. Then, you're cured. It just might take a while for your body to get the message. Until then, continue to not work, not participate in life. Once you begin to feel better, this will signify that you are cured. But still, take it easy. And above all, reduce your stress. Mmmmhmmmm.
The other option is:
Switch insurance to a PPO. Seek treatment from a doctor that can't advertise he treats Lyme Disease for fear of having his license pulled. Get him to treat you until your symptoms go away, at considerable cost because he can't work with insurance companies. Keep treating until your disease is in remission.
So I figure this: I got a lot of waiting to do. While I'm sitting around watching the world go by, reducing my stress by not participating, I might as well be dosing up my body with antibiotics to completely off-the-chart toxic levels. You know, while I wait. Then, when I get better, all the assclowns and fuckwits at the CDC and IDSA can say that it was my first 28 day treatment that finally started working.
Or better yet, they can tell me it's in my head, that I am faking, or lying, or looking for attention. Which is exactly what I do. Instead of working to build my business, it is way more fun to sit around in jammie pants, gaining weight no matter what I avoid. It's totally fab to get to "come out" to people at work, people at my kids' school. I love telling my kids I can't do something, can't open my pills, can't hold a piece of paper, can't get a bear hug, may one day need help eating. I'm just a drama queen that needs attention.
I will tell you----I used to be drawn to drama. I enjoyed the theatrics. Let me tell you---sometimes it takes real drama to show you how stupid it all is, how much I don't love drama. Sometimes it takes something shitty as poor health to make you really realize what is important.
Do I want my life back? No. Do I want to be able to participate in a new life? Hell, yes I do. Which is why I will continue to pay pay pay for all the meds my doctor tells me to take. My new doc that listens to me, treats me like a normal human with a real disease. And I will get better. it may take a while, and I may not get back to the energy level I once had, but that's okay. I had too much energy, anyway. And I wasted it running myself into the ground. At this point, I would settle for 50%.
As far as my old doc, Dr. W goes, I sent him a note. Now, before you think I got all scathing and angry and f-bomb-y, I must tell you I have had time to settle down. That, and I was limited to 500 words, so they had to count. I wrote and rewrote and rewrote....
I had some editing to do.
"Dr. W-after our last meeting, I left with many questions, and little hope, except for "addressing my depression", which should cause my pain to go away. I got a 2nd opinion, and wanted you to know I have Lyme Disease and am in treatment. For the future, please look into all options, before blaming depression. Thank you."
Okay, I have mellowed a bit. But truly, I was hoping that, maybe, just maybe, he would think about this email once more over the course of his practice. And maybe it just might cause him to look a little deeper, just once. And because of that extra care, someone will get the care they need to get better.
Am I awesome, or what?
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