Lesbian Dolphin Marshmallows. With Ketchup.

Being an aged hipster, I text.  I'm even one of those people that would just rather have quick text convos, rather than actually engage people in some sort of lame-ass reciprocal talking session, where I have to be fully engaged.  I'm kind of an asshole like that.

Also, I need to pay better attention to whom I send things.

Luckily, I did not commit some sort of "reply all" shenanigans.  But, I confused a friend.  Hilarity?  It ensued.  In fact, we ensued the shit out of some hilarity....

My friend Jen?  She is my amaze-balls partner in most of my crimes.  If we had gone to college together, YouTube would have been invented earlier, just for our benefit...or demise.  It boggles the mind.

Anyway---I REALLY want her to go to BlogHer with me next year.  We both missed out this year.  It's all very dramatic and sad, and I am getting sick of reading everyone's posts about how amazing it was. :::sad face:::

Also, she is the one that inspired me, and helped me, to get started with my own blog.  See?  You have her to blame thank.

So I'm planning ahead.  And if I get her on board now, I can guilt her into recycling cans and selling crap on craigslist, and she can't flake on me.  So I shot her a quick message before I forgot:

Umm, yeah.  Confusion. For both of us. 

So I respond:

So now we are on the same page.  Although at this point, I'm getting concerned that Sky King does not know how dangerously low our marshmallow and ketchup stores have gotten, but that will have to wait...

Way down at the bottom?  Jen says, (and if I knew how to recreate texts for screenshots like a REAL hipster, you could see it...) "It's your version of lesbian dolphins".

See, this one time, at band camp Girl Scouts, the moms were chatting about various mom things, and Jen made some remark about Dolphins, and one of the moms who happens to be a lesbian busted up laughing. We all laughed with her, then asked what was so funny.  Apparently, there's some symbolism with lesbians and dolphins, and Jen had said something witty without knowing it. I was clearly having a lesbian dolphin moment of my own. 

Then things got weird. Er. Now, we are talking lesbian marshmallows.  Which to be fair, have to be way more curvy and delicate than penis marshmallows.  But neither would be appropriate for the S'Mores our Girl Scouts are roasting on Saturday. 

What to do?  Keep texting, obviously.

ifaketext.  Brilliant.  When I first found out about it, I was saddened,  I really thought all those hilarious texts online that were going around were real.  They're not.  I know, shocking.  But I got over that, when I realized I could make myself sound less bad-spelly with this handy program.  But I could not do a really long thread.  Grr. So I had to make several screenshots.  Honestly, it's fucking tiring being this awesome. EXHAUSTING.

And you know what else?  Jen and I? Full-on BAMFs.