Don't Tase Me, Bro!

Today, I went to the Nerve Specialists for some tests.  I was not looking forward to the tests, because even my Acupuncturist, Dr. D, had told me it would SUCK.  And since he regularly jokes about my treatments giving him carpal tunnel, I figured he was not playin'.

The pamphlet that came with my appointment reminder said that there were two tests:

#1---This test would have a series of metal disks stuck to my skin. Then, a small electric current would be put through my muscles at different points, to test if there was any nerve damage/superhuman powers.

#2---This one was the one where they would insert needles into the muscles, then do some other stuff. Afterward, they would have a one-legged orderly peel me from the ceiling, and wheel me out to the dumpster.

So, I go in, complete with a designated driver.  I get called back, by people that act like they don't know what's about to go down. 

They take my history (read: listen to me reiterate my entire health history, instead of read my file), then talk about how they don't feel that the two tests will be very beneficial, they would like to do the one test, which they say is pretty minor. They say that they think that my issue has to do with RA(Rheumatoid Arthritis), and that the pinched nerve that made my right hand as useless as a mustard-less hotdog was an RA flare, rather than a problem as yet undiagnosed.

So, they begin the first test.  First, they make a series of dots with a sharpie (That'll look SWELL at the husband's reunion this weekend...) then stick some goopy metal disks to my skin. Then, they take something that looks like a taser and jam it into various parts of my hands and arms.  Then, they turn a dial, press a button, and an excruciating current shoots through my tendons and make my fingers twitch at strange angles.  After about 30 minutes of this, they say, "Good news! You definitely don't have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.  Your pain seems to be related to RA, and you will need to follow up with your primary."

So, I don't have any other disorders that I didn't have yesterday, which is good.  And, there may be some RA meds that will help.  Also, long sleeves are in order for the reunion---I can feel the bruises forming as I type.

The bad news is, there isn't anything wrong with me that is fixable.  Treatable, maybe, but not fixable.  This news made me a bit grumpy, and BBQ albacore only partly fixed my mood.

Maybe some ice cream will help fix the rest?

What Nerve!

A few weeks ago, I had a sore wrist, which radiated all day until i could hardly move the arm.  It kept me up most of the night (just when I thought my sleep couldn't get worse...) and I woke with the inability to move the arm without major pain.  I made an urgent care appointment (it was Sunday, of course) and saw a doc.
He was quite nice and understanding.  He talked me through his thought processes. We ruled out a pinched nerve due to trauma, but we both agreed it was a pinched nerve, we just didn't know why.  So, he referred me out to see a specialist.

Fast-forward to a week ago-the nerve specialist's office called. They want to do a nerve conduction study to see how signals travel along my nerves. What they do is stick a bunch of electrodes all over me, then trigger impulses.  The insert of the appointment reminder said that it is not painful.

BUT.

They also want to do an EMG.  This is where (according to the insert) they use needles placed in the skin to test the tissue for disease. Alternately, this is where (according to a colleague) they JAM HUGE NEEDLES THIS LONG (hands placed about 12 inches apart) INTO YOUR FAT AND THEN SHOCK YOU, LEAVING YOU IN PAIN AND BRUISED. AND IT HURTS SO BAD, AND THE NEEDLES ARE BIG (please, stop....) AND YOU ARE GONNA BE SO SORE, BLAH BLAH BLAH..................

I am now planning on NOT going back to work that day. 

More soon....if this test doesn't kill me. 

PS-Thank you, random co-worker, for having the guts to be the only person who will be honest with me.  Remind me to not have you break bad news to anyone.  Ever. Kisses!