New Meds, Week One. Results: Highly Inappropriate, But Funny

Note: I have been less than inspired lately.  So, I start posts, then get around to them later.  Or, I do a bunch, then auto-post them for the future, so I don't overwhelm too many brains with too much crazy.  You're welcome.  Therefore, if you know me in Real Life, you may read this, and be all, "wait, I thought that shit happened LAST week".  It did, or else I completely lost my mind.  Or both.  Either way, don't trip.  It's all good. 

Huey Lewis would love my doc.  He, being a righteous dude, wanted a new drug-one without the crappy bullshit that comes with modern pharmaceuticals.

 I'm with Huey.  And I don't want all the shit that goes with these new drugs.  I basically want good drugs, that do the good stuff, and don't need a bunch of other drugs to undo the side effects of the new drugs.  Is that so much to ask?

I have my new antibiotics, which don't seem to come right back up, which is good stuff right there.  They also don't seem to give me nasty side effects, at least not yet.  Let's hope that continues.

And my new fave, my secret weapon?  I got it from a compounding pharmacy in Colorado, that compounds it by the bucketful, and sends it in the mail, lickity split.  It's LDN.  For more info, click here.  There's other info out there, on all the amazing things it can do for people with crazy problems. And, the side effects are supposed to be minimal.

So, I'm hoping I am one of the people it will help.  It may help with stress, anxiety, and depression, immune system issues, and pain.  Wow, right?  Sign me up, right?  Plus, there don't seem to be much in the side effect department.  And, it is supposed to help your body create your natural endorphins that seem to not be endorphin-ing.

The down side is, I have to take it, 2-4 weeks, before I may notice a difference, especially for pain control.  And, the downside is, I cannot take narcotic pain pills any longer AT ALL, because they will not work, and they will cause the LDN to not work, also.  So when crazy Aimee that does too much, commits too much, tries too much, takes over, and my body feels like it got hit by a truck as punishment for all the doing to much, I will be getting no relief.  Even though my energy levels tell me to do all this in the first place.

You see?  It's a wicked cycle.  :::insert frustrated scowl here:::

So far, I am too days in.  Pain? HIGH.  FUCKING HIGH.  But that is likely due to my over-do, over-plan, crazy ass self.

Immune system? No colds, which I don't get anyways.  Whatevs.

Anxiety/stress?  Meh.  Not noticing much of a change.   BUT.  I feel just a wee bit shitfaced, all day.  From about an hour after I take it (10 am ish?) to about 8 pm, I feel slightly tipsy.  You know that space where you live, when you are slightly intoxicated, Fun Aimee, shall we say?  That space where you get a little funny, a little too honest, say some things you usually wouldn't?

That's where I'm at.  10 hours a day.  Which is helping the wine bill.  But not my popularity.  I'm sure my Facebook friends will be dropping like flies soon, with my mouth getting the best of me.  For instance, I found this amazing quote from a blog I read, and made it into a card on the Someecards website:

Funny, no?

But not okay.  Which is half its charm, in my book.

But I can't be like this, every day, 10 hours a day.  I sometimes work.  I hang with parents and teachers when I do work.  I help at my kids' school.  This kind of shit?  Not appropriate. 

My already wide-open-shit-gets-through-all-day-long mouth filter?  Broke as a joke.

As a good friend said, my give-a-fuck is broke.

See?  Not okay, Me. 

See? I created two awesome ecards.  But, neither one is even mildly appropriate to be the image showcasing this fine blog post.  :::slowly shakes head::

It's a goddamn epidemic.

Pretty soon, someone is going to report me to the blog police or some shit, and I'm going to have to make people go that extra step clicking that they understand the the shit they are about to read will curl their toes.

Imma need an intervention.  But with booze.  Lots of booze. (Wait, does that defeat the purpose?)


Who's in?

Internet Infamy. BTW, Where Is My Freakin' Wikipedia Page?

Today, my internet infamy grew just a scoach. (It's a word, Judgy Judgertons.  It means a teeny bit.  Check Urban Dictionary.)

This was a post of a friend of mine.  You can tell right away we have grown apart.  Probably because she's all classy and shit, being a show-off.

Driving [redacted] to preschool this morning I pulled up to a red light. Looked to my right to see a woman in an identical white SUV, I assume taking her child to preschool, sporting the same white bejeweled ceramic watch as me, sipping coffee through a straw, like me, so as to not stain her freshly bleached teeth, hair pulled back, like mine. Look to the car to my left and see the exact same thing. I'll bet they both had on black yoga pants too. What a suburban cliche I've become! :)

I laughed, because it's always funny when you realize enlightening shit about yourself.  I also laughed, because I got roped into the same drop-off as she did, on the same morning, but my comment was slightly different:

Aimee Walker Better than me, hair and teeth both unbrushed, Jammie pants, distended braless boobs, no shoes, hoping I don't wreck and have to get out.

5 hours ago via mobile · · 9

Did you notice anything?  

First, I'm keeping shit real.   Props.

Second, this TOTALLY happened (two days in a row....).  And I seriously was concerned I would get waved at by a mom that wanted to chat me up about something they heard/saw/did, or worse, a family that wanted to say "hi" to me as they walked to school as a group, younger sibs in tow.  This last one was the biggest fear, because there are two new families at my kids' school, that were in Preschool at MY school where I am the administrator, and I can't even imagine how embarrassed I would be, with food stains on my tank top from the day before (that way I don't have to wash jammies, because I love the freakin' earth, judgmental bitches...).  Hair askew.  Teeth, funkified.  Braless (truly one of the scariest sights, I assure you.).  Also, wrecking would be bad, because who wants THAT to come at you, especially before a large dose of caffeine?

Now, all I can think about is, maybe I should get my teeth whitened.  And, maybe I shouldn't dress like such a piece of shit.  And why are my kids okay with it all.