Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Pinterest Turned My Daughter Into A Salad

Everyone thinks that Pinterest is just this amazing place where people go to get ideas for awesome gifts, crafts, and recipes. 

But there is a dark side.

For instance:

I got caught up in the whole, "Make shit at home and save thousands of dollars each year!" craze.  Laundry soap (but I couldn't get the kids to grate bars of soap, so that one was a fail), jar labels for bulk items (I got too fancy and they faded from the sunshine coming through the kitchen window---stupid sunshine), copycat handsoap (I got the measurements wrong and there was a microwave catastrophe that my husband can't seem to LET GO). 

So everyone was concerned when I said that I wanted to make my own shaving cream.  But, I was out, and the man stuff is too minty for my delicate ladyparts.  And, I had a shelf full of extra toiletries that had failed me in one way or another.  So off to the pantry I went.

I found this pin:

Basically, you add a bunch of stuff like lotion, conditioner, soap, and oil to an old container.  I'm sure there are specific measurements, but really, it's just a way to get goop on my legs so that I can shave months' worth of hair from them---does it really matter?

And I didn't have baby oil, because it is an EVIL petrochemical, so I used some grapeseed oil from when I tried to make salt scrubs last year.  The grapeseed oil smells very salad-y.  But it's for shaving my legs, and it was being mixed with 5 other scent-y things, so whatev.


The last step would be "Label it, so when your 8-year-old uses your shower because the teenage made their gross, she will know it is NOT CONDITIONER".

Instead, Princess came out, and I remarked, did you brush your hair out---as I ran my fingers through it, pulling tangles apart.  

She said, "Yeah, but it was crappy conditioner.  It smells like salad.  And it doesn't work very well".  

Now, Princess has a history of having issues with hair product.  The last time she really read a bottle label, she came running out of the shower, concerned about whether she should be using product for "fine" or "coarse" hair.  I assured her it was all marketing, and it was all pretty much the same.  So her hair product discrimination skills are low. 

I leaned in, took a whiff.  It smelled suspiciously like a mess of competing fruity scents, with an undercurrent of salad.  Very MUCH like my homemade shaving cream.  

Fuck you, Pinterest.