Snitches Didn't Get Stitches-This Time

I am fired up.  FI-EEEERRRRRRRD up.

I just left my local store-Safeway.  And I witnessed something that boiled my blood, chapped my ass, ruffled my feathers.

As I was searching for some hotdog buns, I saw a couple, early 40's, unremarkable.  Except, the dude was mawing on a mini croissant while holding a large clamshell container of more buttery goodness.  Not a big deal-I get it. You walk around, getting hungrier and hungrier, waiting for your wife to make a damn decision.

Then, he set the container, and the half-eaten one, on a bakery display.  Walked away, over to a new display, and began to look at THOSE items.  His body language was clear: I'm done with those 12-for-$5-croissants.

I said, gently and full of compassion: HEY!!!! YOU MIGHT WANT TO TELL MANAGEMENT YOU AREN'T BUYING THOSE, SO THEY DON'T SELL THEM TO SOMEONE ELSE.  THAT'S GROSS, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF TRASH!!!!

See?  Classy. As usual.

Then, I walked around the corner, and spied a staff member.  I said, "Hey, there's a piece of shit and his wife in the bakery department eating out of containers and putting them back. FYI."

I went about the rest of my trip, heated and shaking, wondering if I shouldn't have worn my son's football jersey with WALKER clearly emblazoned on the back.

I said I was ANGRY, not BRILLIANT.

Then, I saw the staff member, befuddled, because the croissants were gone. 

I figured I might encounter the shoplifters in the store somewhere else, and they might say, "See?  I just set them down to look at the Enteman's!".  I had my comeback...."Whatever helps you sleep at night, thief!"

Unfortunately, I didn't get to use my comeback.  Damn.

But, my time with those damned croissants wasn't over yet.

There they were, complete with one missing half a buttery flaky chunk, sitting by the Rockstar display.


GRRRRRRRR.  I found my staff member, ranted a bit more, handed over the loot, all the while griping, swearing, and head-shaking.

Seriously, people.  I GET that the economy sucks.  And maybe $5 is too much for croissants.  Maybe not.  But what I also get is that, I hemorrhage cash more than anyone I know, whether it's co-pays, prescriptions, Doctor visits, or fab boots.  But for crissakes, when people blatantly pull this shit, I just cant help but think the entire country is going to hell, partly because people are batshit cray, and in serious need of some bitch slappin.

Did I mention I have been trying to kick my anti-depressants?