Big Brother is a pain is my ass. He's slowing down my roll. Seriously.
Her I am, surfing the interwebs for "how to make an upright bean bag toss game" for my kids' carnival. Then, smack-dab in the middle of the page, I see a bunch of shit for Maui.
You see, Sky King and I are going to Maui in November to celebrate becoming 40. And I have been spending an obscene amount of time Googling "cheap souvenirs in maui", "best road to hana trips", and "tommy bahama menu pricing". I'm a preparer, y'all.
And now, in the middle of VERY IMPORTANT school work, I am dragged over to some link about "amazing sunset cruises for less".
Now, I should be entirely creeped out that The Internet is OUT TO GET ME. But I'm not. I'm more irritated that my, "Oh look! A chicken!" brain had me on a website about beanbag toss games (it's really going to be this amazing game with orange balloons, attached in the shape of a pumpkin, where kids pop the balloons to reveal useless shit----thank you, Martha Stewart!), then all of a sudden, I'm clicking the link to the sunset cruises.
Then, I'm like, "oh shit, if we go on a sunset cruise, I might need a shawl. I wonder if I have one that will match that new sundress?" So, then I'm in the closet rummaging around for some random shawl, I may or may not have thrown out on the last move because I was DONE PACKING SHIT.
Then, I'm like, "hey. Where the hell are my favorite brown sandals?"
Pretty soon, I have a week's worth of Hawaii crap spread all over the bedroom.
And the pumpkin board game? Forgotten.
This is why my kids don't have what they need, until the last minute, or right after that. And why parents can't get their shit together.