Friday, January 18, 2013
I'm The Best Wife In The World
I'm all about compromise, getting along, meeting the other's needs, etc. Basically, I'm one agreeable motherfucker. I try. I put forth EFFORT. This year, I have truly put my honey's needs before my own, and given him some excellent references and advice, as well as a viable game-plan, forsaking my desire to be swept off my feet by romantic fabulousness.
I'm a giver, really.
In years past, I have not done my best to fully express my Valentine's Day expectations.
They vary year to year, based on what's going on, how much cash we have. You know. It's not SUPER critical that I get flowers and chocolate each and every year. But this year? I have a plan.
You see, I have this friend, that I secretly hate. Not because she's taller, blond, and travels the world (she always brings fun things back, which is nice). No.
It's because she loves the Steelers.
But not just that: She has this AMAZING yellow jacket, a windbreaker. And the godforsaken thing is embroidered with all the dates the Steelers have won the Super Bowl. ALL FUCKING SIX OF THEM. We have only five. Not six. Not okay.
Because of Kyle Williams, GOD'S TEAM (aka the SF 49ers) did not go last year. But when we go, we win. It's our thing.
This year is our year: I am certain.
And because I am AWESOME, I have taken the liberty of sending my dear Sky King a most helpful email:
"Dear Sweetest Husband of mine (I'm paraphrasing...)
Just order it in enough time to get the embroidered dates of each Super Bowl win:
and of course
When we win Feb 3rd, order that night, 2 day ship, secure embroiderer in the meantime, Feb 14th should not be a problem.
See? I'm smothered in Awesome. I am one helpful agreeable fabulous person, aren't I?
Remember last year, when I blogged about a Warning to All Men in the Universe? We just can't have a repeat of that. Nosiree.
:::cue line of men wanting to marry me:::
Sorry, guys. This pile of train wreck belongs to Sky King.