Sick Of Sick, Part II

Last time we chatted, I was poised to gulp date rape drugs, all in the name of possibly wetting the bed.

I gave my usual donation of massive amounts of cash, as well as some vials of blood.

Later that day, Dr. Lyme called.

Dr. Lyme: I was thinking.  I want to change your antibiotics from what we talked about.  I would rather see you take something that will fight both the Lyme, and the Bartonella. So, I'm thinking Rifampin, and Doxycycline.
Me: Okay.  But Doxycycline is the one where I can't be in the sun.  And it gave me a rash last time.
Dr. Lyme: Yes, you are right.  But it is the best drug for what you are fighting, so I'd like to try it for a week of two, see if you can tolerate it this time.
Me: :::harumph:::

I go into my Costco later that day, and meet the Pharmacist with Nads of Granite.

Have you ever had a pharmacist ask what your problems were? Me neither.

Me: I'll take a consult, I haven't had one of these.
Dude: Okay, step over to the consult window.

Pharmacist: Ms. Walker? Okay. (He pulls bottles out of the bag, reads labels.) Oh!  This is you!  Yeah, some weird stuff came in this morning, and I was wondering what the deal was, then it was canceled, and even weirder stuff was called in. Wow.  What are you fighting?
Me: Chronic Lyme Disease. (Pharmacist grimaces)
Pharmacist: You were the one eating all my Z-packs before, right?
Me: Yep.
Pharmacist: Wow.  You keep fighting. Getting better?
Me: Stopped getting worse, so there's that.
Pharmacist: Yeah, that's a drag.  So here's the deal. See the color of these pills? (Shows me the Rifampin, which is a blood red capsule) Get used to it.  It will color your urine, feces, sweat, saliva.  You wear contacts?
Me: :::shakes head:::
Pharmacist: Good.  It will tint your contacts. Okay, good luck, fight the good fight!

A weird, yet refreshing, experience.

So, I can no longer be in the sunshine, in the Central Valley of California, in the middle of summer.  Back to hippy skirts and flow-y shirts that cover me arms to my fingertips.  Which is a great look when you are 5'3", and slightly above your goal weight. Add this all to the floppy hat, and I'm thrilled I'm not single any more.  Now if Sky King begins to lose his vision, I'm set for life.

Add this to the other drug, that will tint the inside of me.  That may come outside of me an alarming shade of red.  Check.  Oh, and this Rifampin?  Typically used for TB.  And Meningitis.  Swell.

credit: istock

I am officially sick of being sick. Because before? I was pretending to be sick of being sick.  Now I'm not joking.

What has happened to you lately, that has made you want to stab random people in the neck?

Sick Of Sick, Part I

Dr. Lyme and I had a pow-wow the other day.

He's unimpressed with me lately.

Dr. Lyme: How have you been feeling?
Me: Not great. I've turned serial apathetic
(I didn't really say that.  What I DID say is that I am blah, don't want to be awake OR asleep, don't want to participate in stuff, want to nap all day, can barely muster the strength and desire to overeat desserts, etc etc etc)
Dr. Lyme: Ah.  When did that start?
Me: About 3 weeks ago.
Dr. Lyme: Okay.  Let's see. How is your joint pain?
Me: It seems to be getting worse. I've had to take more pain pills that usual.
Dr. Lyme: When did you notice that?
Me: About three weeks ago.
Dr. Lyme: Mmhm. And how are you sleeping?
Me: Good for the first 4 hours, then I wake every 45 minutes to an hour, til 7. Then I want a nap around 10.
Dr. Lyme: When did that begin?
Me: About three weeks ago.
Dr. Lyme: So.  I think it all comes down to you not getting enough quality rest.

(This has all become apparent to Sky King and me during the course of this discussion. This is common for me: what remains elusive during hours and hours of soul searching always becomes crystal clear when you verbalize something in front of someone that makes $200 per hour. You too?)

So.  I'm already on Ambien for sleep.  a half dose worked for the first couple weeks, then I had to increase to a full 10 mg pill.  Dr. Lyme is thinking that, since I cannot sleep without it (AT ALL, it turns out), I need something different.

But he's not a sleep guy.  He wants my primary, or my sleep doc, to handle it.  He is thinking that a drug, Sodium Oxybate, would be a good choice.  It's liquid, and I would take a half-dose at bedtime, then the remaining bit when I wake in the middle of the night.  Sounds fine. Whatever.  I just want to SLEEP.  Without the sleep, I won't get the better.  Without the better, I won't be able to to keep from stabbing people in the neck with sporks.  Vicious cycle.  So sleep drugs. Check.

We got through the rest of the visit, with him changing out my antibiotics.

I left, and went straight to Dr. Google.  Dr. Google has assured me that Sodium Oxybate is perfectly safe.  If I am a mixed drink in a bar, held by an unsuspecting future rape victim-Sodium Oxybate is known "in da 'hood" as GHB.  The latest "date rape" drug.  You know, because roofies are sooo 2004.

Side effects include bedwetting, difficulty falling asleep, and dry-humping strangers in seedy bar bathroom stalls.  2 of those are especially alarming.  I have a REALLY nice mattress that I would hate to "soil".  And, the whole reason for taking the drug is TO SLEEP.  Seriously, people.  As for the third? I just won't sleep in fishnets and a tube top, and I should be good. 

Stay tuned for part 2 of the the exciting Dr. Lyme visit.

Princess For Sale

Will consider all offers.