Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Sick Of Sick, Part I

Dr. Lyme and I had a pow-wow the other day.

He's unimpressed with me lately.

Dr. Lyme: How have you been feeling?
Me: Not great. I've turned serial apathetic
(I didn't really say that.  What I DID say is that I am blah, don't want to be awake OR asleep, don't want to participate in stuff, want to nap all day, can barely muster the strength and desire to overeat desserts, etc etc etc)
Dr. Lyme: Ah.  When did that start?
Me: About 3 weeks ago.
Dr. Lyme: Okay.  Let's see. How is your joint pain?
Me: It seems to be getting worse. I've had to take more pain pills that usual.
Dr. Lyme: When did you notice that?
Me: About three weeks ago.
Dr. Lyme: Mmhm. And how are you sleeping?
Me: Good for the first 4 hours, then I wake every 45 minutes to an hour, til 7. Then I want a nap around 10.
Dr. Lyme: When did that begin?
Me: About three weeks ago.
Dr. Lyme: So.  I think it all comes down to you not getting enough quality rest.

(This has all become apparent to Sky King and me during the course of this discussion. This is common for me: what remains elusive during hours and hours of soul searching always becomes crystal clear when you verbalize something in front of someone that makes $200 per hour. You too?)

So.  I'm already on Ambien for sleep.  a half dose worked for the first couple weeks, then I had to increase to a full 10 mg pill.  Dr. Lyme is thinking that, since I cannot sleep without it (AT ALL, it turns out), I need something different.

But he's not a sleep guy.  He wants my primary, or my sleep doc, to handle it.  He is thinking that a drug, Sodium Oxybate, would be a good choice.  It's liquid, and I would take a half-dose at bedtime, then the remaining bit when I wake in the middle of the night.  Sounds fine. Whatever.  I just want to SLEEP.  Without the sleep, I won't get the better.  Without the better, I won't be able to to keep from stabbing people in the neck with sporks.  Vicious cycle.  So sleep drugs. Check.

We got through the rest of the visit, with him changing out my antibiotics.

I left, and went straight to Dr. Google.  Dr. Google has assured me that Sodium Oxybate is perfectly safe.  If I am a mixed drink in a bar, held by an unsuspecting future rape victim-Sodium Oxybate is known "in da 'hood" as GHB.  The latest "date rape" drug.  You know, because roofies are sooo 2004.

Side effects include bedwetting, difficulty falling asleep, and dry-humping strangers in seedy bar bathroom stalls.  2 of those are especially alarming.  I have a REALLY nice mattress that I would hate to "soil".  And, the whole reason for taking the drug is TO SLEEP.  Seriously, people.  As for the third? I just won't sleep in fishnets and a tube top, and I should be good. 

Stay tuned for part 2 of the the exciting Dr. Lyme visit.

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