Fresh Day, Fresh Leaves, Fresh Undies

As promised, I am back today with a fresh start, fresh attitude, and fresh undies.
:::cue feminine hygiene commerical::: (you're welcome, JT)


(Woman stands, looking at herself in the mirror. In the background, Fall leaves swirl outside, seen through the window)
Announcer: Sometimes, you need a fresh start. Fresh make-up, fresh hair, fresh panties. You can't do much about gray lungs,  or a bloated fatty liver.  But, we at CooterClenz strive to make your insides feel as fresh as a basket of clean laundry. Why shouldn't everything inside be as fresh?

Woman: You're right!  I DO deserve to have fresh innards!  While I can't get a new esophagus-yet--I CAN make sure my ladybits are just as fresh, carefree and magical as the falling leaves outside. Thanks, CooterClenz!  You started my workweek out right!  And, with new Apple Cinnamon, my ladybits will remind the entire office that Fall is in the air!!!
(woman holds up box of CooterClenz)
New CooterClenz.  Original, Cotton Candy for the lazy days of summer, and now, Apple Cinnamon!! 


Where was I? Oh, yes.

Mental illness is quite the roller coaster, isn't it? I'm still pissy with my health, and those poor souls that try to explain it to me. But, I have new mugs in my Zazzle store, I look cute in a burgundy fall sweater, and I am still sleeping pretty well-I'm on a roll! Hell, I might even get shit done today! The world is my oyster.

I am in a good mood, my end-of-year stuff at work is falling into place thanks to the awesome chicks I work with, I won some yummy Zico coconut stuff from my local Gluten Free Specialty Shop (located conveniently at J and 26th, right downtown, for those of you in the Sacramento area-they don't pay me to plug, but they should-in LaraBars!) and fall is a-fallin'.

The leaves are swirling around with fury, and all I want to do is rake them into a pile and let kids jump in them. After I go first, of course. What is it about these leaves that have struck me as particularly magical today? I don't know, but I DO know I could use a little magic. And not the stabbing-pain-in-the-eye-voodoo-shit I have experienced as of late. I mean the magic that comes to children during this time of year. After all, I am just a big kid.  A big kid with a bra.  A big kid, with a bra, that swears a lot. Damn. That was almost poetic, and then my crazy brain muddled it. Shit. I was doing so well with the "fresh start" crap--almost like your favorite douche commercial as a child. 



Now, I got the kids-plenty to go 'round, as they say. All I need is the rake, a Raker, and a big liability rider.

Who's in?

Keep Your Weather Change

I love Fall.  Okay, I LOVED (emphasize the D) Fall.  These are the things I USED to love about Fall.

• (Man, I LOVE bullet points!) The leaves turning. I know, I have mysteriously turned into a 70 year old East Coast Marm. But man, the colors-it's like nature's own acid trip. I truly want to scoop up a bunch of the damned things, bring them home, and use them to decorate. But they rot, and smell, and lose their color. So forget it.
• All my Fall clothes-boots, wool socks, jeggings (DON'T mock me!), toasty wool pea coats. 
• Did I mention my boots?  I REALLY love boots.  MY boots.  They are awesome. They are so awesome, I find myself admiring boots online, only to realize I own them. Man, I have great taste.
• The blustery day with the wind blowing, leaves crunching underfoot, people (not me, mind you) raking, kids jumping into piles of leaves
• The smells-pumpkin spice, apples baking. Yummmm.
• The colors-Fall jewel tones look really amazing, especially on me!

I could go on.  However, I cannot handle the cold. Not at all. Mind you, I live in California. Northern, but still.   With Reynaud's Phenomenon, I lose circulation in extremities in the cold. (Other times, too but the cold makes it worse.) Now, when it happens, a couple other things occur. I feel the cold, yeah.  But sometimes the cold stings, which turns to an ache. And it takes quite some time to get the sting to stop. And sometimes, on those special, special days, the cold finger, toe or nose (each person with Reynaud's has a different area that is affected) turns yellowish-white.  now, seems more like just a visual issue. What it means, though, is that there is no blood circulating. fine for a few moments. However, as my Doctor told me, if it lasts longer than, say, 4 hours, I'm to hustle my little ass to the nearest ER. So they don't have to chop the problem area off.  bummer, right?

So, Fall is kind of starting to suck. Between the constant need for gloves, expensive wool socks, and trying to avoid outside, which I love(D), I'm getting kinda bummed.

Sorry 'bout my pissy mood.  I think I need some pie.