Gluten-Free Congo Bars

 

This is a serious post.  Seriously yummy!  There is a recipe I have in a cookbook that is called Congo Bars.  The cookbook is just cookies, cakes and other desserts, so it has always been a favorite, along with my mom's Better Homes and Gardens cookbook, complete with burnt range rings on the back. Here is the original recipe:

·  1/4 Cup Butter

·  1 1/2 Cup Graham Cracker Crumbs

·  1 Can Unsweetened Condensed Milk, Eagle Brand

·  6 Cup Chocolate Chips

·  1 Cup Flaked Coconut

·  1/2 Cup Sliced Almonds

Since I can't have anything good or yummy EVER, I had to make modifications.  First, I use Nucoa Margarine sticks. Some people like the Earth Balance buttery sticks, but I think they taste funky.  You have to make sure it's the Nucoa with no dairy in it. It's also in foil, so you have to TAKE IT OUT OF THE PACKAGE BEFORE YOU NUKE IT.  Trust me.  On the positive side, Princess and I were both pretty amazed/scared shitless, so I don't think she will make that mistake independently. Glass half-full, people. 

Line a 13x9 pan with foil. The foil should go up the sides, so you can lift the bars out and cut them easily. Melt the butter/margarine of death in a 350 degree oven.  (I don't know how to type a degree symbol, do you?) Then, take the graham cracker crumbs (Or, Kinnikinnick Graham Style Crumbs) and mix them into the melted butter.  Then, pour the condensed milk over the entire mess.  I know, I can't have condensed milk.  And you have never seen sweetened condensed soy milk.  So, you go to the handy dandy website, andloveittoo.com and search for vegan sweetened condensed milk.  Make that, a few days ago.  Sorry, I should have said that before.  And, you will have extra, so you will need another recipe using sweetened condensed milk. I will get back to you on that one.  So put your fake sweetened condensed milk on there, smooth it around. Then, the chocolate chips. It says just a cup, but really? 1 cup?  I don't think so.  I use almost 2 cups. And I use the Guittard semi-sweet, which has no milk fat in them. Then, sprinkle on the coconut-once again, don't be shy. Finally, the nuts. I have used pecans, walnuts and no nuts.  Whatever you want.  Throw it all back into the oven, bake about 25-30 minutes, until coconut is browned.  And take a look at how awesome they look!  They are Monkey Boy's favorite.

Have a great weekend!

(Mom-did you notice I did that post with almost no bad words?)

Me Like Cookies!

***First off, I am sorry I have no photos. We ate them all too fast.***

I was given a challenge this past week.
Who am I kidding?  I took another task on, completely by myself, with no goading. How's that for accountability?

Anyways-my daughter had a First-grade Completion Ceremony (don't get me started on rewarding NOT failing, or adding to the already overwhelming amounts of positive reinforcement our children are exposed to...), and there was a cookie reception afterwards. I signed up, as there are 3 GF children in the class (my daughter included, more on that later).

So, I pulled out my handy dandy Google, and searched "gluten free cookie recipes".  I had to avoid those with chocolate (and by then, what the HELL is the point???) for one of the girls. Which left me with few options. Or so I thought.

:::cue dun-dun-duuuuun music:::

I found 3 wonderful recipes, and made them ALL!  Yes, I know. Still working that out in therapy.

Here they are, with my additions:

1. Meyer Lemon Cookies (Let's stop right there, I did not have Meyer lemons. I used plain old organic.)
Oven preheated to 350.
Blend, in bowl:

1. 1 cup GF flour mix (I used Bob's Red Mill-it's a mix of rice, garbanzo, fava bean)
2. 3/8 tsp salt (I don't have a 1/8 tsp, so I eyeballed it)
3. 3/8 tsp baking soda (seriously??? 3/8? I guess I should be glad it wasn't metric. F-ing British.)

Cream, in a Kitchen-aid (or with child labor, if it's available):

1. 6 tbl unsalted butter, softened (DO NOT use light tub margarine. It makes the cookies melt weirdly, all over the pan.  Yes, I'm sure.)
2. 1 tbl rice milk or water (I used rice milk)
3. 1/4 c lemon juice (I used a teensy bit less, I was sick of squeezing)
4. 1 tbl lemon rind, minus knuckle flesh
5. 1/2 c sugar
6. 1 tsp vanilla

Add flour mixture slowly to creamed mixture. Blend well. Dough will be very moist (or soupy, if you use the wrong butter). Seriously, when they say moist, it means very runny, in my book. Each time I make something gluten free, I am alarmed by the drippy-ness of the batter. Then, sometimes I add more flour to make it like it should look. Do not do this. Unless you need some bricks to finish the patio.
On cookie sheets lined with parchment paper (this is also a key to gluten free baking. I am not smart enough to know why, but I DO know that it is important. I have ceased thinking about it) drop approx. 1 tbl of dough on paper, roughly 12 per sheet.
Bake 10 minutes, until edges are brown. I do each sheet separate, but make sure you switch the sheets mid-way if you do two at a time.
Let cool before removing from parchment.

These are very nice tangy cookies. Unfortunately, I messed up most of them, and felt like a loser bringing just 12. So I ate them. All.

Next up, #2.Vanilla Snaps
Preheat to 325
Beat together:
1/2 c butter or non-dairy butter sticks, room temp
1 c sugar
1/8 tsp (!!!) salt

In another bowl, put:
1 egg white
1 tbs GF vanilla extract
1 tbl vanilla milk (Rice? Soy? I used rice)

Add the two bowls together. Mix thoroughly.

In yet another bowl (sorry about all the dishes...), add:
1 tsp GF baking powder
1 1/3 c + 1 tbl (I have NO idea why the extra tbl...) GF flour mix (I used Bob's Red Mill)

Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet until totally combined.
I recommend fridging it for a while. 1 hour or more. Otherwise, they will be fairly thin.
Even if you fridge them, don't put them in your fancy Pampered Chef extruder thing-y. It's a wasted effort. Yes, I'm sure.
Scoop onto parchment,about 1 inch apart (further if you have no patience, or are tired, they will spread out more)
Bake for about 10 minutes, until edges lightly browned.
Apparently, they would make great crumbs for cookie crusts for a pudding pie. I will never know, we served ate them all.

And finally. #3.Mexican Wedding Cookies!
These are super yum.  Truly. Especially warm out of the oven, when you have to poison test them.

Preheat to 325
In a food processor, pulse:
1/2 c powdered sugar
1/2 c pecans
1/4 sweetened flake coconut (They say this is optional, but I can't imagine them without it)

Blend until finely chopped and well-incorporated.
In processor or mixer, blend sugar/nut mixture with 1 stick butter (or buttery sticks) mix until fully blended. Then add in:
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp orange zest (I skipped this, i think I did not have an orange, and a lemon didn't seem to fit)

Then, slowly add in:
1 c GF flour (Bob, my man....)
1/4 tsp salt
Until firm. It will be sticky. Chill until firm, 2+ hours. Yep, it does need to sit this long. Nope, freezing it doesn't seem to work the same, but faster. Yes, I'm sure.

Scoop dough into small balls (the size of a bouncy ball or so) and place onto parchment paper. Make sure to space them about 2 inches apart.
Bake 15-20 minutes (15 works well for me), until edges are browned slightly (a theme is developing, right?), Cool on a wire rack for 5 minutes (I left 'em on the parchment, but off the hot pan, I'm lazy that way). Sift tons of powdered sugar over them until it looks like there is too much. Perfect!