Journey to M

Maybe you have heard this song before:

I'm a fatass.  I need to stop shoveling food into my face.

No? 

Not here, or here?

I was so young, so naive, so full of hope back then.  :::sigh:::

Maybe you should start, I dunno, paying attention?

Anywho.

It's high time I REALLY recommit (for as long as possible, I guess----I'm trying to be realistic!) to being a better me.

I have made great strides in not being such a freaking bitch.  I am meditating more, and working on a lot of personal shit.

But the one thing I don't have on lock, the one area I am substantially failing, is weight loss.  A year ago, I was down 20-ish pounds. 

Well folks, I found them. Meanwhile, we continue to pay the gym to keep their doors open, without the hassle of them having to actually see our faces.  See how generous I am to the local economy?

Well, selfish Aimee is back.  Because I am sick of the XLs.  I want more Ms in my closet.  Less XLs, more Ms.  The hope is that the loss of hunks of fat will lessen the burden on my knees.  And the exercise will help my meds work.  And will make my sciatic nerves less bunched up and tight, causing acupuncture needles to wiggle, they are so inflamed.  (You're welcome for the visual of a bunch of needles, sticking out of my flabby ass, twitching as if the needles themselves have Parkinson's.)

So, I perused the online class schedule.  There is was: GIT.  Group Interval Training.  It's a class where you go in and hang out in a certain area for 45 minutes, changing machines and floor exercises in 2 minute, 2 minute, 1 minute intervals.  It doesn't get boring, you get to chat with your fellow chubs, and make jokes.  Like when the trainer says, "if you like running, these series of lunges are GREAT!" while I mutter, "If we liked running, we wouldn't be hanging out here, with cookie crumbs on our horrifically insufficient sports bras".  Or, when the trainer says, "there you go, nice and slow", and I snarkily reply, "slow? Yeah, we GOT slow----like a BOSS".

Is that just me?

Anyway.  I went.  I dragged Sky King.  We did the whole thing, and did not use ice cream as a reward, so all in all, it was a success.

Now, Lather, Rinse, Repeat. 

Wish me luck, and pray for my Lycra. 

Well, Hello, Pisiform!

Welcome back, Pisiform!  I have missed you, oh pokey bone of the outer wrist.


It's been about 7 years---since I got pregnant with Princess.  I hear you have been absolutely buried!  I've been pretty busy, too--what with shoveling carbs into my face.

I have, however, decided that our relationship has been put on the back burner for too long.  I plan to be there for you, and I hope you will become a constant visible presence in my life from now on. I promise to not take you for granted, assuming you will always be there for me despite my actions.


Could you do me a favor, though?  I need additional support, for when the going gets tough.  And by "going gets tough", you know that I mean "ice cream is on sale", right?

I thought so.  Thanks.  Mwah.

Motherly Advice

Think back to when you were a child, and your mom would give important advice that you should follow, like;

Don't touch the stove, it will burn you
Eat your vegetables
You'll shoot your eye out
Never burn bridges
Stop that or you'll go blind
No one likes a tattle tale
Look before you leap
Measure twice, cut once

...and my personal favorite,
If you don't stop that, we will sell you to the gypsies.

(Which, incidentally, made me incredibly fearful of gypsies-I pretty much imagined going to live with Jasmine from Aladdin, but she was much meaner. And made me do tricks, like in the circus. Now, i have seen My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, and I'm not sure I wouldn't have fared better with that group, but that's for another post.)

Well, let's add one to the list....

Even if you don't want to, don't feel like it, can't fathom any fiber of your being complying, EXERCISE. 

I know, I know.  I HATE exercise.  Who likes it? Sick people, that's who.  People that think of nothing more than shiny coins hanging around their necks. People that LIKE bicycle shorts.  I even saw a guy on My Strange Addiction, who was addicted to a bicycle and stationary bike, and it was KILLING HIM.  See?  Crazy people like to exercise. (Or, maybe I need to change my viewing habits...)

But, that does not mean you can't get something out of it.

I started with walks around the block with Sky King.  This sssssllllllloooooowwwwwwwwlllllllllyyyyyyyyy graduated to me going to the gym with him and walking on the treadmill, while he worked with some lunatics and a lunatic trainer.  Then, I would pop in to yoga or Zumba once in a while. 

Yoga, incidentally, has been a-freaking-mazing!  It incorporates the whole mind-body thing, which is great for us spoonies, because being mindful of our bodies will help protect us better.

Now, I have my phone alarmed to remind me to go to yoga 3 times a week---I usually make 2 of them. And.  I forked over money---cash money, people---to join the lunatics!  The trainer works with other pathetic people like me with tons of limitations, and she has tweaked our workout 2 times a week to include me.  No, I don't like it---well, I like the chatting we do between reps----I get sweaty, I work hard, things ache later.  But, I'm doing it, and even if it doesn't mean I am going to win a triathlon, I feel like I am making a positive step in improving my overall health.  Which makes me feel just a teensy bit in control. 

That, and the 25 pounds gone-I'll take it!