Friday, December 23, 2011

My 2012 New Year’s Resolutions

Thank you, WilyGuy, for the idea for a realistic list...
I resolve to:

1.       Stick to my diet (Weight Watchers, no dairy, no gluten, and all the other crap my new doc wants me to do) for 10 months (up from 8 months in 2011)

2.       Sign up for less stuff, and sign up for stuff only with prior authorization from Sky King

3.       Go back to the gym (I know, this is on everyone’s list, but I have only been gone for 2 months, not 11, people. Give me a damn break)

4.       Figure out how to work my Canon SLR camera, and stop using the “auto” button for each shot, making them all look like shots from a crappy $70 camera-First thing to learn: What SLR means (is that even the right series of initials?).

5.       Delegate even more at work so that I can step away for longer periods if need be.

6.       Be more compassionate to others, but only after I blog about how unbelievably irritating the “others” are.  My therapist will be so pleased--it has something to do with the things that drive me crazy about others are typically things I don’t like in myself, which is insane because I don’t shop at the mall in my flannel jammies, nor do I drag my teacup poodle everywhere I go in my purse (or worse in the shopping cart), and I certainly don’t drive around with my head so far up my ass I have to sneeze to use my turn signal, but I digress.  I will try harder to be compassionate.

7.       Work harder to find the unique balance of wine, anti-depressants and pain pills so that I’m not twitchy the next day. Fun Aimee is awesome, but is usually encouraged by people who live too far away to endure the after-effects (right, T?)

8.       Enjoy my extra time with my kiddos, and spend more time hugging the little one, and listening to the bigger one.  It’s mind-boggling when I realize I don’t have too many more years of this left.

9.       Be more honest with everyone in my life.  You think I’ve been honest up til this point? You just wait. Depression is a nasty beast, and it’s high time I call it out for what it is.

10.   Fire all the doctors that make me want to stab them in their beady little eyes.  I don’t spend time with people on a personal level that irritate me and don’t support me.  Why should I entrust my health to someone that seems to only mildly tolerate me, and only gives lip service to what ails me.  Them bitches gots ta go.

That should just about do it.  In what ways will you be less of an asshole this coming year?

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