It's a beautiful day in Northern California. The sun is shining, the air is crisp. We have a house full of groceries, the week's meals planned, some burnt Christmas cookies and some homemade candy that seems to have leprosy ready for the snacking. Our tree is up, the 54 pounds of ornaments are crammed onto it, with all the lower ones poised for my darling niece to eat/gnarl/ruin. The kids are giddy with the season (and one is as-of-yet un-medicated, and the other forget his children's chewable meth this morning) so I'm feeling a bit nostalgic. This puts me in the mood for Christmas music. I got the presets working in the swagger wagon-one station for the lights-viewing, morning drives, more the classics. The other station has more the campy stuff, with grandparents being mauled by woodland creatures. All is well in the world.
Except, there is not a song to express just EXACTLY how I feel. There are tons of songs about the holidays. But the holidays are just a bit different for people with Invisible Illnesses. Fibro (along with a bunch of other illnesses) takes so much all year long, but it seems more obvious this time of year. The cold hurts, and the fun things you want to plan to do may just have to take a back seat to your stupid illness. Before I get all bitter and depressed, I will move on.
To help commemorate this time of year for all my fellow Spoonies, I wrote a song.
No!, you say. I had no idea you were such an amazing wordsmith!
Oh yes! I reply. Not only do I use my skills for snark, but for joyous melodic poetry as well. Please enjoy, share, sing aloud. And if you wish to change the lyrics to suit another illness (or to be way less appropriate for families) please do so, with my regards, while always citing the original, genius source.
Grab a hot cup of cocoa spiked with Grand Marnier, and listen in.
Hit it, Maestro.
The 12 Days of Fibromyalgia
On the 12th day of Fibro, my illness gave to me:
12 Acupuncturists poking
11 Medical billers billing
10 pills a popping
9 Masseuses rubbing
8 Doctors doubting
7 Wait, where was I?
6 oh yes, doctor's co-pays
5 bars of chocolate
4 heating packs
3 shoulders to cry on
and a legal battle with disability
Do you think Rhianna is available?