Wednesday, June 13, 2012

My Stint As a Vampy Vixen Ends

I have been rejected by my husband. Without regard for my feelings.  As if I'm some robot, that doesn't have feelings. Or needs. Or an addiction to sleep meds.

You may remember that we have had an increase in...ahem.....late night activity courtesy of Ambien.

That particular gravy train has come to a screeching halt. 

Why?  Why would Sky King give up such an obvious benefit?  Has he gone mad? Has he suffered some sort of mind-altering, memory-erasing accident, rendering him without recollection of the benefits of Ambien Aimee?

Sort of.

Ambien has strange effects on me, besides allowing me to actually sleep. In addition to feeling more amorous, I also cannot recollect large chunks of the previous night.  It also affects my personality-slightly.  I don't act like my normal self.  I act more like my drunken alter ego, Fun Aimee.

Which is fun.  Once in a while. 

I guess it has gotten old.  I had this convo with Sky King:

SK: Do you remember last night?
Me:  :::sheepishly::: Vaguely.  Sorry. I remember being slightly....assertive.
SK: Yeah.


I'm kinda over the Ambien thing.
Me: Oh.  Why?
SK: You know when you're out with a friend, and you're sober, and the other person is totally shitfaced, drinking shot after shot, acting like a giant moron, and your head hurts from all the eye rolling? And it's completely and utterly brain-numbingly annoying, and all you want is for them to pass out so they will stop talking?

Me:  :::Deep breath:::

SK:. Yeah.  That's you.  I'm over it.


Me: :::full of righteous indignation:::
You know, I've been Fun Aimee A LOT lately. There were benefits.  What you SHOULD be saying is, "Thank you".

SK: Yeah.....Um.....You're hilarious.  NO.

Lucky for me, he has a problem with short-term memory-He'll be back.

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