When Sky King and I went off to a Mexican cruise without our kiddos, we were merely being responsible-after all, it is incredibly irresponsible to take them out of school for an entire week. Especially when the most culture they would have experienced would have been their grandfather taking a header into a tall step on the way to the bathroom due to too much tequila, and the merits of Mexican Dos Equis vs. the American import we usually drink. Culture? Not so much.
So my guilt got me, and I wanted to know what each child wanted as a gift.
Princess: A shark jaw.
Me: What if I can't find a shark jaw?
Princess: Then, a puffer fish.
Me: And if I can't find a puffer fish?
Princess: A sea horse, like the one I already had, but Cleo the dog ate.
Me: Okay. What if I can't find any sea creature bodies at all?
Princess: Then, another creepy puppet.
Monkey Boy: Gum.
Me: Like, Chiclets?
MB: No, Bubbalicious. Like what I got in Cabo.
Me: You know you can get Bubbalicious at 7-11, right?
MB: No. Mexican Bubbalicious. It's different.
Me: So, no sea corpses then?
In Mexico, the main supplier of seas corpses was closed. We checked back a few times, to no avail. They had a wide variety of corpses-puffer fish, shark jaws, entire fish bodies. It was sea corpse Mecca. I was hoping someone would offer to break in just to make a sale, but it was not to be.
Finally, we found a shark jaw, and got it for $10. Score.
Meanwhile, I went in to every convenience store to look for Bubbalicious. Nothing. Nada. I had taken a break, because I just couldn't think of what to bring home for Monkey Boy.
We wandered into a small store, looking for a bottled water to wash down tacos. All of a sudden, I saw it. BubbaLoo! It's like Bubbalicious, but it has a liquid center, like Freshen Up had in the 80s.
A case of Tutti Fruiti, and my mission was complete.
Back at home, Monkey Boy was thrilled, and savored each of the 60 pieces.
Princess said, Oh. Emm. Gee!!! It's a goblin shark jaw!!!!! :::squeal:::
Princess: You know, a goblin shark. I saw it in a book.
Me: You're making that up. How can you tell from the jaw?
Princess: It's the teeth, see? Can't you tell?
Me: :::type type type, Google Google Google::: Holy shit. You're right.
Cheaper than a "My Mom and Dad went on vacation without me, and all they got me was this stupid T-shirt" shirt. And classier.