It's been a long week.
Sky King jetted off for a man-cation to bond with his brothers, leaving me with explicit instructions to NOT LET THE CHILDREN DIE.
He takes really good care of me, which is why I was scared to death when he left me for five days.
In the middle of it, I had to take Princess to a MASSIVE Girl Scout event, with 12,000 of her closest Girl Scout Sisters. I survived, without alcohol. (during the event. There was a significant medicinal dose when I got home)
We keep her in Girl Scouts so she doesn't become a stripper. Or if she does, she's the Lead Stripper, like the one to make up new routines, or create new household items to dance around. She would be an innovative stripper. A groundbreaking stripper.
Meanwhile, I signed her up for Cheer Clinic, which might just cancel out the Girl Scouts.
Things are going alright, the kids are still alive. I'm out of clean underwear though.
Right after he left, I noticed the dishes in the dishwasher were dirty. I texted him:
Me: The dishes in the dishwasher are dirty. What do I do?
Him: You're hilarious.
Him: Ummm, run the dishwasher?
Me: Could you be more specific?
Him: Put some dish soap in it, press start. SMH.
About 2 hours later....
Me: I don't think you know how dishwashers work. There are bubbles fucking EVERYWHERE.
Me: What do I do now???
Me: Why are you ignoring me?
Me: I'm waiting.....
Him: Sorry, I got your text while I was being screened at the airport, started swearing, got "special screening", almost missed my flight. Are you completely useless?
Me: Hey, that's unfair. The dishes are REALLY clean now. SO is the floor. You're welcome. BTW, how do I get crumbs off the floor? I was hungry while the dish machine was working, and my sandwich was messy. I didn't have any clean plates.
Him: DON"T DO ANYTHING. I WILL BE HOME TUESDAY. JUST GET TAKE OUT.
So I figured blogging was fairly safe.
How was your weekend?