Sunday, August 5, 2012

Sorry. It's Been Too Long. Too Too Long. My Bad.

I was recently told by one of my most loyal readers that I only posted 6 times in July.  6.  SIX!

I feel horrible.  So to make it up to you, I am going to do my very very best to inundate you with a ton of amazing new posts. 

They are guaranteed to be filled with bad words, incredibly graphic descriptions that will curl your toes, and/or disgusting health information.

You're welcome.

Here's a teaser:

I just cycled my meds (that's a technical term I totally just made up, which means that I changed out some of the shit I gulp each day.  Typically, this involves getting used to the new drugs, and the side effects are pretty EPIC.).

I was put on Rifampin.  This drug is usually used for TB and Meningitis. And, it's only $85 per month! Awesome. The pills are bright red.  Why?  So that when you pee, you are horrifyingly alarmed. 

Child Development Peeps:
Yellow and red make = Orange!

Orange pee.  Like Tang, but no astronauts.

HA!  I just said "ass". 

More on my ass, later.

In the meantime, send me all your granny shawls, full coverage skirts, and dowdy hats----it's Doxy Time! (Didn't Hammer do a song about Doxycycline?  Doxy Time......My-my-my-my Lyme hits me so hard.....Hammer, don't go in the sun......)

Is there a way to make cute musical notes appear here-------->  ?


:::keeping day job:::

I just got back from back-to-back camping excursions. And I survived.  Despite the acclimation to new drug effects  (affects?) (Sorry, my Lyme brain is extra broken lately) ( I could look it up, but I'm feeling NOT-ish right now).  And the less-than-warm reception my snoring earned.  Incidentally, no one likes people that show off by staying up past 9 pm, alright?

And?  When people asked why I wasn't drinking, I had a FAB time telling them:

*I'm more of a pill-popper
*Alcohol fucks with my anti-psychotics
*Dude.  It'll chill my heroin buzz

Most people stopped talking to me.  Which is why I went to bed early.  And because I'm a pussy.

But, I saw Dr. Lyme recently, and he had some good-ish news for me.  Except that I'm starting menopause early, and I should stock up on extra-absorbant pants. (for the sweating, you pervs.) Why don't pants get ratings based on absorbancy?

I'm getting ahead of myself, and I have shit to do.  Like, chill.  And maybe watch some TV.  I missed TV. Or, I at least missed the couch near the TV.  Same thing, right?

More on all this, later.


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