Instead of my usual whiny, "Ow-things-suck-things-hurt-pity-party-for-one", I thought I would....still do that.
But, as an Early Childhood person, and in honor of the late Theodore Geisel, I will do it this time in the style of Dr. Seuss.
I've got aches in my arms,
Aches in my each leg,
Aches in my joints,
And I'm wanting to beg:
Nasty pains, will you please go, now?
Whether I eat fatty or lean
and yummy crap in between,
my body just won't stop spreading.
It's biggering and biggering
And I'm kinda figuring
I need to avoid food with breading.
Globulous blubber, will you please go, now?
So I gave up the gluten,
the scrumptulous dairy,
the fatty, the sugary, the merry.
I don't drink caffeine,
all my meats are quite lean,
and I lost the numbers of Ben, and Jerry.
Awful diet restrictions, will you please go, now?
Still, my arms are growing,
my belly is showing,
my skin is a blotchy red mess.
I'm itchy and nauseous,
And even though I am cautious,
I'm squeezed into a size 14 dress.
Crummy side effects, will you please go, now?
I pay through the nose
for more pills than a junky,
And insurance hardly covers a bit.
My bills are a-piling,
and my time is spent whiling
away reading outdated shit.
Skyrocketing healthcare costs, will you please go, now?
I've got rashes and blisters,
belly aches resembling twisters,
and my hair keeps thinning and graying.
My fingers are big as knees,
My cankles, big as trees,
and my energy is wholeheartedly dismaying.
Fucking Lyme Disease, will you please go, NOW?
Thank you for your patience-I'm on a much-needed break away with my wonderful husband. I appreciate your patience with my rants and guest posts this week. Cross your fingers that I was able to enjoy some serious hot-tubbing this week!