What does it take to get a Wikipedia page?
I'm cute (can women pushing 40 still qualify for "cute"?)
I'm nice, personable. Funny. Big boobs. What more could it possibly take?
Snooki has one.
So does this guy I went to high school with that killed some people (well, actually, he just has a reference, but still...)
Even Carrot Top has one.
I want one, too! I want it to be informative and inspiring.
It must talk about my substantial contributions to:
Children and Families
Shoe-tying (I won the "Golden Lace" Award in 1st grade!)
Telling everyone the perfect way to improve their lives, by following my strict regimen of doing what I say no matter what
The ice cream, chocolate and boot industries
And, they must use some sort of amazing software for my photos that makes me 30 pounds thinner. And taller. And makes my husband a real homely troll, so no one tries to steal him-he makes awesome Mexican food, and rubs my sore muscles. And, he's one hell of a kisser.