WARNING: This post *may* require alcohol to completely appreciate/understand.
You've been warned.
Ever since I read the story, Spoonies by Christine Miserando, I have been wanting to find a piece of jewelry that incorporated a spoon. You, know, so I could wake up feeling like crap, yank up my big-girl panties and put on my spoon necklace/ring/bracelet, and be all, "phew, good thing I had that extra spoon today :::chuckle to myself:::".
Okay, "wanting to find" might be a little mild. Let's say, "massively obsessed". There---better.
Anywho. One night, I was hanging out, highly medicated. Full flare. I was on Facebook, which led me to Regretsy, a slightly off-kilter (or MAJORLY off-kilter) site devoted to all that is craptastic on Etsy (a very serious website devoted to artists that would like to sell their homemade wares to the truly deserving, thankyouverymuch.)
I was inspired by Lisa Winchell's ability to find such amazing items on Etsy, worthy of her praise and/or :::ahem::: notice. My foggy brain decided I MUST BE HER.
So, I did what any hopped-up crazy person would do. I created an account, and even took some special quizzes designed to help them understand my individual tastes, thereby showing me items that would meet my unique needs as an appreciator of fine crafts. (Do not do this impaired in any way. You will be startled/alarmed the next day.)
I searched, "spoon jewelry, and went through pages and pages of items. Nothing spoke to me. Until I saw it. THE ONE.
I was elated, and clicked "BUY" before Sky King could stop me. (Incidentally, he has lost some respect for me. It could be unrelated to this shopping expedition. There's no way to know for sure.)
I was eagerly anticipating the item in all its spoon-a-licious glory. I had even gone so far as to send a special message to the user..."OMG! You are artistic GENIUS!!! Thank you soooo much!!!".
Days later, (It felt like months, people!) I arrived at work to a curious item on my desk:
Quite a curious box.
I opened it, and found a pile of dried flowers. Now, I have never packed an item to ship with dried flowers. But, that doesn't mean I wouldn't. She certainly gets points for creativity, and the whole reduce/reuse thing.
And there, in all it's glory, was my new necklace.
The original picture actually made it look better. However, Sky King noted there was no possible way to make a mouse skull, or a disembodied baby arm for that matter, look "better". Creepy is creepy, I think were his words. Huh.
I have had some serious second thoughts about this necklace. Maybe it would be better in a smaller spoon? Maybe I have dashed the dreams of an aspiring artist with my nasty words. Maybe I will contract Hantavirus from the mouse skull. Maybe my husband will leave me if I wear it. Ever. I have questions, people. Important musings that must have closure.
I hope that the artist is not a reader of my blog. If she is, I would be devastated to know that my drug-addled musings caused her any pain. She could be sitting at home right now, ready to stab herself in the eyeballs with knitting needles. Or, she could be saying to the lazy, good-for-nothing son that lives in her basement, "See!!! I TOLD you that people would love my art! Hand over that $20 you owe me, you doubting Thomas!" One of those.