Thursday, November 10, 2011

Eff You, Wishing Star

Last night after finishing up a great Girl Scout meeting, Princess and I were meandering to the car.  (The later it gets, the more she meanders, because she knows bedtime is imminent. However every time we get together with the troop she is typically so overstimulated, it's seems as if she has been in the bathroom doing horrifying amounts of stimulating drugs-so there is this strange hyper laziness going one.  Go figure...)
Princess looked up into the sky, and was all, "Mama!!! A wishing star!".  It may have been A slow plane, but we did the rhyme anyways.
Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight.

I don't know what Princess wished for.  probably a pet, or a LaLaLoopsy tree house, or a pet, or a fuzoodle multipak, or a pet. I don't know, because everyone knows that if you tell your wish, it will NOT come true. It's totally the first rule in wishing.

I wished.....(yep, I'm gonna tell, because that shit came TRUE, and it's okay to tell once it comes true.)
I wished for my constant right eye twitch to go away.  It had been 3 days, and I was ready to scoop the eyeball out with a rusty melonballer and live the rest of my life with a twitchy socket, covered by a bedazzled patch. Because it wasn't the eye that was twitching, it was  the lower lid.  I get the irony of wanting to punish the thing nearest the twitchy spot. but it is much harder to remove a lower lid, without noticing the eyeball would be in dire straits without lower lid support, but something drastic had to happen.
So, I used my wish to get rid of the twitch. I even closed my eyes during the wish and held my breath, which are rules #2 and #3 in the wishing world.

I went home, hoping that the sleeping pills I just bought on clearance would help-Sky King had said that Google told him the twitch could be caused by lack of sleep, which is so my problem (one of them, anyways) so I really wanted to test the "comp a bunch of unfamiliar meds and sleep like the dead" theory. 
I killed some time, holding my eye so that the twitch wasn't as noticeable. Then, chugalug, pill in belly, Mama in bed.

I didn't wake til 4, and fell back asleep easily, waking at 6:15!!!! WhoooHooooo!  So I started the shower and put Princess in.  While showering, Princess told me her head was itchy. 
After the shower, she got out, and we checked her.  No bueno. So that made it my turn, because I had been itchy. I just figured it was: scabies, a reaction to meds, lack of hydration, or some 3rd World disease. i was planning on checking WebMD for Ebola symptoms.  Nope.  LICE.

We had had a problem before with Monkey Boy.  Got is cleared up.  I had worked with kids for years, no lice.  Princess has had amazing long curly locks until a year ago, no lice.

The only thing that makes sense is the godforsaken !#$%^*&*@ Wishing Star.

Apparently due to my sarcastic sick-sense-of-humor nature, I have been blessed with a Wishing Star with similar attributes.

Don't you all see it??????
That mother-effing Wishing Star TOOK my eye twitch, and REPLACED it with LICE!   That BITCH!!!!!

I finally understand what "be careful what you wish for" REALLY means.

No comments:

Post a Comment